why you should tango with your inner critic

You don't want to completely ignore your inner critic, and you don't want to let it drive the car.

And yes, this is MUCH easier said than done.

Ignoring it looks like distracting yourself with something else, numbing out, ear-muffing it. Letting it drive the car is believing all of it as if it's headline news…

Your inner critic shouts something and you hear it, believe it, and feel as if it's true.

Like genuinely true. And then shrink into the corner and try to hide.

I am always shocked when I slip into this trap because I do this for a living. And every time I think “oh, okay. I really cured this problem this time, it'll never happen again.”

And I'm wrong every MF time, 😂

I don't even see it happening until I'm in the thick of it. The more I try to ignore it, the louder it gets. Like when I try to lay down to go to sleep, that dude is all “she's dropped her guard, let's give it to her!”

I fully believe when we are subconsciously scared of something, that part of us will do whatever it takes to get our attention because it thinks we're in real danger. And if we aren't intentionally listening to it and supporting ourselves through it that part of us will get LOUD!

Just like a toddler.

And that part of our brain has toddler-like intellect.

So, if a toddler was convinced there's a monster in the house that was going to eat everyone, he's for sure going to let you know. And if you try to ignore him, is it going to stop and go away? Uh, negative ghost rider. The toddler truly believes there's a

THERE 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 MONSTER 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 HOUSE!

You could go into another room and close the door. But he would just start banging on the door. He's terrified and you are there to protect him. He's going to do whatever it takes to get your attention.

Now, alternatively, if you treat the toddler's fears as if they are headline news, that would be a damn disaster too! Imagine…

Toddler comes running to you screaming there's a monster in the house, and you respond with OMG, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! You start running around the house like it's on fire, calling 9-1-1, trash the house looking for it, and so on.

And even the toddler would be like “huh, uh, God, I guess I was right! OMG there IS a monster that's going to eat us!!!!” and then he would lose his shit.

You want to meet in the middle.

Same toddler, same fear.

Imagine the different outcome that this approach would create:

“Okay, kiddo. I tell you what, I hear that you are terrified, and I've got you! Why do you think there's a monster? Tell me everything! I'll make a list and then I'll go through that list and make sure that we're all safe. And if I do happen to find a monster, which is VERY unlikely, you will be okay because I've got you! Not only will I get you out of this house ASAP, but I'll also let you bring the iPad and your favorite snacks! Either way, we're going to be fine.”

The little toddler would feel safe and supported, and the fear would start to dissipate.

Your inner critic is trying to protect you, and it thinks it is. The more you try to ignore it, the louder it becomes. Because that is its job.

And if you're going after a transformation in your life, your inner critic/protector is going to be along for the ride because it's supposed to be there.

You want to learn how to work with it not against it.

Sleep with the enemy, so to speak.

Your inner critic isn't the problem, your relationship with and your reaction to your inner critic is what matters most.

Experiment with this analogy the next time your inner critic kicks off and see what happens if you treat it like a toddler needing attention.

And I can help guide you through this process if you'd like support.

You can join my New Bitch Energy monthly membership where you learn how to become your own best friend and create a life that you're obsessed with living. There's no monthly commitment, stay as long as you like and leave whenever needed. View more details HERE.

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